


The Note Mourning Plays

by ScrapyardGizmo



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Art, Gen, HSBB2019, Trauma, Written Pre-Epilogue, honestly i dont really know what to tag for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-20 15:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18995254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrapyardGizmo/pseuds/ScrapyardGizmo
Summary: A breeze floats through the air. With it comes a smell of autumn passing into winter flowing through, of light breezes becoming frigid gusts of windswept snow and foggy breath. A time of change, one of four, that come with the year. November, early, but December, inevitable. An equinox of seasons in which time passes through to give way to unstoppable change. It is undeniably nostalgic for the two, a scent that reminds them of the fateful day that took them both out of reality and into a world of unpredictable change and pain. The day that desolation’s descendant played its sorrowful song.And it begins with the note of mourning.





	The Note Mourning Plays

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [ScrapyardGizmo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrapyardGizmo/pseuds/ScrapyardGizmo) in the [New_Beginnings_Big_Bang_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/New_Beginnings_Big_Bang_2019) collection. 



The vast, deep blue of the sky, the wind rustling through the air, the greenest grass ever put before her. Even two months in peace and quiet after that hell game hadn’t been enough to convince her that everything was better now, that she didn’t need to be so on edge and alert about everything and everyone, that it was all over, and all so real. Even as she sat under the tree, watching grandma(?) Harley tend to her garden while the different livestock played with the consorts from the different lands, Joey just couldn’t believe a second of it. Tesseract huffed in her lap, pawing her gently to notify her that she had stopped her petting. Snapping out of it, Joey looked down at the snow white dog and smiled.

“Sorry boy. Roll over.” She said, scratching at his fluffy belly as he did. “That’s a good boy!”

Even through Tesseract’s heavy panting and tail thumping, Joey could hear Jade walking over to them, kneeling down to pet the massive pup as well. As she does this, he gets up to start sniffing Jade who laughs since he’s done this every time he sees her.

“Still smell Bec, huh? You’re such a dorky puppy!” At the mention of Becquerel, Joey’s smile dropped a little. She had heard about him through Jade talking about him, heard her story about how she had fused with him, ultimately leading to her ‘dog-tier.’ For whatever reason, the story made Joey’s stomach knot up, made her feel guilty. Is it possible to have survivor’s guilt for someone else’s dog who you’ve never even met?

_'One more for the pile, I guess.’_ Joey thought before said thoughts were interrupted by her hair being ruffed and her shoulder being pat.

“You must’ve worked hard to keep him alive, huh? I’m proud of you!”

Normally, her response would’ve been a completely reasonable human response, like _“Thanks! It was tough, but I was able to get him through!”_ or _“Yeah, and I count my lucky stars everyday that he’s here with me.”_ or something like that.

Instead Joey decides the perfect reaction to that was to burst out into tears, ugly sobs breaking up the ambience of the land. She wouldn’t be able to stop the tears even if she had tried, emotions exploding out of her like a volcano as she wailed and cried.

“Ohhh, you poor thing, come here…” Jade wrapped her arms around Joey in a tight hug as she did the same, death-gripping her maybe-grandma as if it was the only thing that mattered in this moment. Jade slowly stroked her hair, softly shushing her, letting her cry everything out. It was all too much for her, years of not having experienced such affection or praise finally reaching a breaking point as she cried even louder.

“You wanna see Roxy?” Jade asked softly as Joey’s outburst simmered down into wet sniffles and broken sobs. Tesseract had nuzzled up to her during it, hoping to offer some kind of solace. Eventually, Joey nodded against the older Harley’s shoulder, who then picked her up and carried her all the way down to Roxy, Callie, and Jane’s house. It definitely would’ve been faster to just zap them both there, but they both needed this affection, even if Jade would deny it about herself, and Joey still hadn’t gotten used to teleporting after all this time. When they arrived, Roxy was out sitting by the front porch looking nervous.

“Ohhh, Joey sweetie, come here! Jade texted me and I got hella worried girl.” Roxy says as Joey lets go of Jade and immediately rushes over to her, hugging her tightly like she had done with the Witch.

“Jude.” It was muffled, but Roxy understood her perfectly.

“Lil’ guy is up in his treehouse again. I’ll bring you right on over.” Roxy bends down to her up while turning to Jade. “Thanks for bringin’ her here Jadey. Say hey to John for me will ya? Haven’t seen the dude in weeks, make sure he hasn’t locked himself into a Nick Cage binge again.”

“Hehehe, If anything he’s probably passed out after having another anime argument with Dirk.” That gets a laugh out of Joey, imagining the two having yet another heated argument about whatever and John going blue in the face before falling over. She’s witnessed the two argue about the stupidest and most mundane things before and it is...quite a sight.

Joey waves goodbye over Roxy’s shoulder as they walk inside, the sweet smell of one of Jane’s signature cakes wafting through the air. Roxy makes a beeline towards the backyard, Joey sparing a few hellos to the other occupants as they walk outside, music coming from the open window of the treehouse. Out of all the things that captured Jude’s interest, she was surprised to see that it was modern music of all things, especially chiptune and synthwave.

“Yo Judey!!!” Roxy calls up as a bump and startled squeak is heard from inside. Seconds later, Jude pops up out of the window, hair mussy and standing up in several places and glasses looking as though they’re about to break. Again.

“Yeah? Oh, hi Joey! ...Joey?” He calls back down as he notices her with their alternate universe babysitter, retreating into the treehouse and then exiting a second later before he hurriedly climbs down the ladder. "Memories again…?” He asks softly as Joey detaches from Roxy finally, nodding and going to sit by the tree. Tesseract flops down next to her, having followed them the whole way there without her even knowing.

“You kiddos want me to stay here or are you fine on your own?” Roxy asks as she pets the dog, his big tail thumping on the ground.

“We’re good. Thank you, auntie.” Joey says quietly, pulling her knees up to her chest while petting Tesseract. Roxy squeals a little at that, leans down to kiss both of the kids on their foreheads, and heads back inside.

The two sat in silence for a while, Jude hugging his sister's side while his radio still faintly played tunes, the sound adding to the ambience of the land that Joey found extremely calming. After the game, she found she hated when it was either too quiet or too loud. Not enough noise and she would start to hear her land again, its song of doom and sorrow made of pained whimpering and howling bubbling back up to the top of the sea of memories, while too much sound reminded her of the chaos of battle, of the horrific skirmishes that took so many of the aliens who she called her friends.

Suffice to say, she was happy for this moment.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jude asked, pulling away to face her fully, eyes full of concern but hiding away his own pain, his own nightmarish memories of a world that tried to rip apart his mind at the very seams. Neither of them really _want_ to truly Talk About It, but the truth of the matter is that they _need_ to Talk About It. There is a difference, believe it or not. One they and all the other alien survivors of their session agreed upon.

If you want to "talk about it," you want to talk about whatever's bothering you, whether it be in that moment or has been on your mind for a while. To "Talk About It" is a completely different matter that specifically applies to their session, and you know exactly when someone says something about it. It's not a specific phrase or inflection or whatever, more like an aura. An energy. One that literally none of them want to be apart of. Maybe later. Much, much later.

"Jade was talking about Bec." Luckily for them right now, this wasn't Talking About It. "She told me I did a good job keeping Tesseract alive. Pat me on the shoulder and ruffled my hair and…"

"It was like a dam broke, right? Like one little flick to a place you didn't even know would break and it all fell apart?" A beat of silence passes before they share a broken laugh.

"Yeah. Exactly."

“Something like that happened with me and Calliope. You know how she looks kind of similar to the green aliens of pop culture back on Earth? I was curious and asked her a lot of questions, which she answered, even if some of them were kind of stupid. She seemed...entertained by my curiosity and asked me to talk more about what I liked back on Earth and when I began to just think about it I...shut down.”

As soon as he stopped speaking, Joey noticed that they’re hands were laced together, gripping each other so tight that she had lost feeling in hers. After a moment, Jude began speaking again.

“Do you ever think that...ever think that the game is still trying to get at us? Still trying to hurt us and force us into these situations that fit it’s...it’s fucked up storytelling?” Jude had only ever cursed once, back sometime during the game, and it was still such a surprising and dirty sound to hear exit his mouth. It never sounded like he had matured when he swore either time, nor did it sound like he was trying to sound mature. It was as if he was trying to properly formulate just _how much_ he hated it as a whole by saying something he _absolutely_ hated to say alongside it.

“What do you mean?” Joey prods, likely already knowing what he meant but still wanting to hear him explain for closure and and confirmation, if anything.

She denies that this is Talking About It, but it’s still drifting dangerously close to it.

“Sylph of Doom, Bard of Mind, two classpects that spell out ‘bad time’ like a cartoon skeleton with a single glowing eye.” The distinction has to be made, considering Callie exists and the strange aesthetic ability Joey had to make herself look skeletal. “Your class was basically turned on its head by the aspect, and at first all you did was cause more pain. My class was meant to invite pain, pain that nearly drove me insane. We had to learn to control our powers, but first we had to suffer through them. Even now, can either of us say we really have control? Everything is fine, we’re able to choose what we can do, what we can hurt and help. We’ve won….but it still feels like we’re losing against ourselves.”

When Jude finishes, a breeze floats through the air. With it comes a smell of autumn passing into winter flowing through, of light breezes becoming frigid gusts of windswept snow and foggy breath. A time of change, one of four, that come with the year. November, early, but December, inevitable. An equinox of seasons in which time passes through to give way to unstoppable change. It is undeniably nostalgic for the two, a scent that reminds them of the fateful day that took them both out of reality and into a world of unpredictable change and pain. The day that desolation’s descendant played its sorrowful song.

And it begins with the note of mourning.

“Maybe...maybe it’s trying to tell us something.” Joey says after a silence follows, one uninterrupted by horrific memories or peaceful music. “Maybe it’s getting tired with us not realizing that after using our powers to help everyone else, we haven’t used them to help us. Not really anyways.”

“Like how?”

“Well...use my Sylph powers to heal the Doom you had suffered through, and use your Bard powers to invite happy thoughts to get rid of the unwanted ones in my Mind.” It’s one hell of a long shot and Joey isn’t exactly sure it’s going to work.

Nor is she sure it’s what either of them need.

“...If anything starts to go wrong, we’ll stop, right?” Jude asks, hesitation and anxiety lacing his voice clearly. Joey can’t blame him at all.

“Of course bro. Don’t worry, I got you.” She assures him with a smile, placing one hand on his arm as he does the same.

They both breathe deep and activate their powers, ones they haven’t used in the two months they had been freed from the game. Darkness falls over them as the grass slowly withers, lush green turning to a dead tan. Within this, synapses of green fire off, lighting up the darkness as words and pictures filter in and out around them, never staying and always going.

For Joey, she searches through Jude, eliminating old scars and easing the burden in his mind. But as she does, she finds that every time something is removed, something else pops up, another hidden problem only to be resurfaced when disturbed. Memories being remembered when they were supposed to be forgotten, trauma relived in a haze of panic and pain. Even when healing these and soothing the hurt caused by them, Joey sees that what is left behind is blank and empty, a slate clear of any sense of the old. If she continues like this, it will only destroy his mind and leave nothing left. In the end, by trying to heal, she only hurts. The same problem she had when she had first obtained her powers.

For Jude, he calls forth memories and thoughts both real and imagined, invites them to seek out that which ails his sister’s mind, replace them and make her happy. And it does work, for a while at least. But as he looks into the landscape of thoughts he’s created, he sees reality and fiction clash. The unfillable void of the wretched trauma sucking in everything, throwing away the rose colored window that would be placed in front of her world view. Her mind’s reality clashing with the world’s reality, lashing out and trying to make everything understandable, but only ruining it. She would be living in blissful ignorance for only a moment, unable to understand and eliminating everything, including herself. In the end, in trying to fight the pain and shape it into something that it can’t be, it will only drive him insane trying to stop. The exact same dilemma he was faced with when he first obtained his powers.

They both look to each other, realizing that it won’t work. Though they hate the pain, hate what it has wrought upon them, hate that it won’t go away this easy, they must live with it. It has shaped them to what they are now, and if they were to reverse it, then they risk reversing all of the good progress done for everyone. For now, they will have to deal with it, and mourn their lost happiness and sanity.

If just for a bit longer, to get rid of it in a better, healthier way.

For now...it would be best to Talk About It. With everyone.

They let their powers fizzle out, darkness giving way to light, thoughts calming down into regular mindframe. The grass thrives and lives once more, and the voices hidden within the synapses fade away.

The two siblings share one look, and then nod. They stand as Joey sends a group message to the survivors of their session.

And as they walk to meet up with everyone, the Note that Mourning Plays turns hopeful. If just for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> the lovely art at the beginning was provided by my assigned partner, disarray!
> 
> follow them at these accounts!
> 
> twit: https://twitter.com/42eyeballs  
> tumb: https://disarray.tumblr.com/


End file.
